Cheating Husband: How to Tell If Your Husband Is Cheating on You and How to Bust Him
“It can be so hard if you suspect your husband of cheating. You think you’re going to spend the rest of your life with this person, but infidelity can really throw a spanner in the works.”
If you’re sitting there thinking, is my husband cheating on me, then you’re in the right place. We’re going to walk you through how common cheating is, the reasons for infidelity and signs to look out for.
In case you’re fairly sure that your husband is cheating, then we’ll go over some ways you can track him using his cell phone. A cheating spouse can leave the victim feeling sad, angry, confused, ashamed and guilty, just to name a few of the emotions you might be feeling. We’ve spoken to leading psychologists and researchers to help you get to the bottom of it and give you peace of mind.
How Common Is Cheating in a Marriage?
You might be wondering just how common it is for a husband to cheat on his wife. We’re going to have a look at some of the most recent statistics, maybe some of them will even surprise you. We’ll also ask some relationship experts and counselors and see what they’re saying on the subject.
The statistics on cheating have to be taken with a pinch of salt for a number of reasons. The results, firstly, can be skewed because researchers can only accumulate the answers that people are willing to give. Some cheating husbands might cheat but would never admit it to researchers, even if it’s anonymous. That being said, we can still learn a lot from statistics, like these:
- Between 20 and 25% of men admit to cheating at some point during their marriage
- Men aged 65+ are 50 times more likely to cheat than their wives
- In 18-24 year olds, women are 81% as likely to cheat as the men
- College-educated men are less likely to cheat than non-educated counterparts
- Out of those who cheated, only 64% of men said it was always wrong to cheat on their spouse
- 84% of men who have never cheated say it’s always wrong
These stats are taken from the research paper by sociology professor Deborah Carr. Some other studies suggest as many as 50% of men have cheated on their partner at some point, so the statistics are just a loose indication of reality.
What Psychologists Are Saying
We’ve had a look at the numbers, now it’s time to ask the professionals. Firstly, psychologists, like John M. Grohol, Psy.D., suggest that some of the figures out there are completely fabricated to scare or motivate people to buy a certain service. This is not at all surprising, considering what companies are capable of doing to make a profit.
Instead, it is said that infidelity is far more uncommon than we think, possibly as low as 6% during a 5-year period. Infidelity is a complex issue, and how common it is in any given relationship depends on that individual couple. Do they already have relationship issues and insecurities? Is there a history of that particular person cheating in previous relationships? Do you and your partner have significantly different sex drives?
All these factors need to be taken into account when working out how many people cheat, and they’re all individual to the particular case.
Reasons Husbands Cheat
So, what are some reasons husbands cheat? An article in Psychology Today written by Jay Dixit suggests that there are a number of reasons someone might cheat, including:
Self-Esteem: Men with higher self-esteem are more likely to cheat. This could be because they feel they’re entitled to. If they earn more money, this increases the likelihood even more.
Emotional Isolation: Even if men have an active sex life with their current partner, they could still be tempted to cheat because of emotional isolation, as demonstrated by this study. They feel like they’re not as emotionally close with their partner anymore, so they try to find it somewhere else.
Natural Instincts: Only 3% of mammals are monogamous and humans are not one of them! We’re pre-programmed to want to have as many sexual mates as possible in order to continue our line of genes.
Opportunity: Some men are simply opportunistic cheaters. If they’re out in a bar, and a woman hits on them they’re far more likely to “just go with it” than women are.
Sex Drive: Sometimes, it can be because you and your partner have a VERY different sex drive and, if not resolved, this could lead to infidelity.
Addictions: Maybe your partner has sex, alcohol, or drug addiction, which can lead to them being much more likely to cheat.
Ultimately, there are a lot of reasons why cheating husbands exist, but you should NOT feel responsible. Everyone is in charge of their own actions and, if you’re in a monogamous relationship, there is no excuse for cheating.
What Are The Signs Of A Cheating Husband?
So, now you want to know how you can tell if your husband is cheating or not, right? Well, there are a few tell-tale classic signs, some more obvious than others so we’ll run through them here broken up into different categories:
- Behaviour: Seems distant, lacks interest in the relationship, comes home and goes straight to shower, dresses up more than usual, wants to know about your schedule more than usual, cares about their appearance more.
- Romance: Requests different things in bed to usual, not as interested in sex, shows something new in the bedroom, shows less affection, criticizing of you showing them affection.
- Work: Works longer hours than normal, has more business meetings than ever before, has to go out of town for work for days at a time, colleagues say he’s “unavailable” most times when you call, attends work functions alone instead of inviting you.
- Phone: Gets calls that he has to leave the room to answer, you pick up their phone, and it’s always a wrong number or hang-up, phone bills with unexplained calls, runs to pick up the phone before you, whispers while on the phone, acts differently on the phone when you come into the room.
These are just some of the signs that your husband is cheating and, make no mistake if your husband does a few of these, it might not necessarily mean he’s cheating. For a comprehensive list of behaviors to look out for, check out this resource.
How Can You Tell If Your Husband Is Lying To You?
Honestly, this is a very subjective matter. Some people are just really good liars and you shouldn’t feel bad for not knowing he was lying to you. Sometimes it’s just a feeling. You know your partner better than anyone and you will usually have a gut feeling if they’re lying.
Other times it can be more obvious that they’re lying if they’re:
- Lied about other stuff
- Make a lot of eye contact
- They touch their face
- Their smile doesn’t seem genuine
- Dilated pupils
- They include “honesty words” (trust me, honestly honey, if I’m being honest…)
If you want to read about these signs your husband is lying in more detail you can do that here.
How to Catch a Cheating Spouse Using His Cell Phone
Now, if you think you’ve got yourself a cheating husband, you probably want to find out for sure before you confront him. At the very least, you need some evidence and not just a “feeling” or changed behaviors. More often than not, if cheaters are confronted without evidence, they will just lie their way out of it instead of coming clean. One of the easiest ways to track your husband and find out if he’s cheating is by using his mobile phone. This can be done in a number of ways.
Use A Location Tracker
One way to find out where your husband is going is to use a location tracker on his phone. Whether he has an iPhone or Android device, there are ways to track it. If he has an iPhone, you can use the Find My iPhone App. This means you can log into your spouse’s iCloud account on your computer and track his location, as long as he hasn’t turned off his location settings, of course.
If your husband has an Android phone, they’ll likely be using Google+ cloud storage or something similar, which can be used in the same way. All you need is their password ,which, if you’ve been married, you probably already know OR you might even share your cloud account! Even better.
This will help you see where your husband is and if they’re where they said they were.
I shared an iCloud account with my husband so it was easy for me to use the Track My iPhone function to find out he was NOT in Baltimore on a business trip like he said he was. You should have seen the look of surprise on his face when I turned up at his secretary’s house and caught him red-handedJulia, 35, Montana
Hire a PI
If you don’t know the password to your husband’s cloud storage account or you’re just not tech-savvy at all, you can still catch your cheating spouse using a cell phone. You just need to hire someone else to do it for you. That’s where a Private Investigator comes into this.
It can seem daunting to hire a PI to track your cheating husband, but sometimes these measures are necessary. They can set you back a pretty penny though, anywhere from $40-$100 an hour!
I am just not technologically gifted, so when I suspected my husband of cheating because of his changed behavior and whispered phone calls, I called in for reinforcements. Turns out, my instincts were right, and he had a secret family for over 10 years!Maggie, 62, Texas
Alternatively, a much more effective method than Track My iPhone and a much cheaper alternative than hiring a PI is available – mSpy.
mSpy is one of the leading phone tracking apps, originally designed as a parental control app. However, its usefulness in catching a cheating spouse is more than evident. With mSpy, you can easily track the location of your husband’s phone in real-time. Not only that, but you can see his location history and access a list of addresses he has visited in a certain time frame.
That’s not all though, with mSpy, you will also have access to your cheating husband’s WhatsApp messages, Snapchat, Facebook Messenger, Instagram, call logs, SMS, Keylogger, photos & videos, AND internet usage.
It’s everything you need to catch your husband red-handed and it won’t break the bank. Subscriptions can be as low as $16.66 a month or $29.99 if you just want it as a one-off for a month. For the ultimate in phone tracking software, you’ve got to check out mSpy.
Look, I knew something was wrong. My husband would come home smelling like another woman and every time he answered his phone he would leave the room, which he never used to do. I was going crazy, so I got mSpy, installed it on his phone and there it all was. WhatsApp messages, pictures, internet history looking at fancy hotels he would never take me to, it was all there. Thank you, mSpy, you gave me back my peace of mind.Hayley, 41, Wisconsin
How Can I Get Over My Husband Cheating?
If you find out that your husband is cheating, you will undoubtedly be devastated. Wives who find out this kind of information go through a range of emotions including denial, guilt, anger, sadness and confusion.
There are some positive ways you can deal with this and some…not so positive. Here are some recommendations from VeryWellMind, medically reviewed by Carly Snyder, MD:
- Accept your feelings
- Don’t get revenge
- Take care of yourself
- Avoid the blame game
- Keep kids out of it
- Get counseling
- Be practical
- Take it a day at a time
There you have it. Some stats about cheating, signs that your husband is cheating, reasons he may cheat as well as ways to find out if he really is cheating. If you read through this and you still feel like you’ve got yourself a cheating husband, then you will probably want to investigate further.
mSpy seems to offer a foolproof way to get the evidence he’s cheating before you confront him, at a reasonable price too. Whatever action you decide to take, remember it is NOT the fault of the person who is being cheated on.